Emma.

12/10/2009

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In a country where poverty reigns, where most people are living on less than a dollar a day, generosity is not a virtue.  Survival is.    

Which makes what just happened all the more special.

Emma, one of my friends here who is 22, just called me outside to give me a bag of groceries.  Yes, FOOD!  That’s all people can talk about here- that they don’t have enough of it, or that their family is hungry, or that they are working all day without eating.  People want to know when we will give them food.  Or if we can make even more bread than we already do for Sunday after church.  [which is one of the hardest things here, b/c we so badly want to feed this entire village, but we simply can’t.]  But today, a Haitian spend a GOOD CHUNK of her family’s money to buy fruits and vegetables for me. 

For little old me!  Who she knows full and well has enough money to buy all the groceries in the world.  But she wanted to buy it for me anyways. 

It was so hard to accept this gift.  And it brought me to Jesus today… b/c so often I can’t truly accept His perfect gift either.  His grace seems too good for me.  That I’m not good but He’s good for me.  His promise that He’s holding our hearts and our lives seems like too good to be true too… instead, I try carry my own and earn my way, trying to justify myself.  Sometimes to make God “love me more,” but mostly, just so I can feel better about myself.  Gross.  God help me accept your gift.